130

That's right, we're at 130 days! It's still SO far away, but it seems so close when I look at everything that needs to get done. I have already got lots of ideas for things, but no reason to make them yet. I just don't want to have all of this stuff sitting around my apartment taking up space, so it's waiting. I'll work on it later when I maybe don't have as much stuff in my apartment. (I'll get to start packing up winter clothes soon to store in my mom's garage til I get to move!!!-- SO EXCITING!)

On that note, I can't tell you how exciting it is to realize that in just over four months, I will be with Trenton. I will be with him for every day, every night, and every morning until the end of time. I have a hard time dealing with the stresses of work, school and planning, but my new mantra has become "In four months, it will be completely worth it. In four months, none of this will matter. In four months, my life will. be. complete."

When I think about all of the things left to do with the wedding-- especially things that Trenton deserves an opinion over-- I just want to ask. I want to share things with him, and let him know that his choices are important to me. I don't want this to be "MY" wedding. It is our wedding and it is the wedding that will change our lives, and make us one unit. One solitary team. I cannot wait. He will be going out on the boat eventually, and my opportunities for his opinion will be seriously decreased. I know he says he will love anything I do (what a sweet man) but I still feel as though he deserves a say.

I look at wedding stuff on a daily basis. Blogs, pictures, ideas, etc. I try to just use them to get ideas and see what other people are doing. I don't let it overwhelm my life, because obviously school still has to happen, homework is still going, no one is stopping their life because I'm getting married. However, I look at wedding websites and have wedding shows in the background while I read, and when I do this, I get overwhelmed with my love for this man.

I can't tell you what a road it has been for us. Any of our friends, our families, and probably people we don't even like would be able to tell you that this has not come easily for us. But... when I look back at everything that has happened, I can't help but smile. At the time, there was nothing more that I wanted to do than run away and break all ties from him. I see our time together, as such a happy place. I am never happier in life than when I am with him. When I talk to him, when I see him, when I look at things for OUR wedding.

I imagine walking down the aisle. I know I'll be a wreck. I will be so excited to finally be with him after all this time. I get to walk down the aisle to my friend, my love, my man, my HUSBAND. Even writing this post, I get completely overwhelmed with my excitement, my love and my happiness that I will get to be with him. I can't wait. I love this man so thoroughly. So fully. I never knew that my heart could hold as much as it does for him.

He is my reason, the man I will marry. My last first kiss. And I. Can't. Wait.